It’s been a tough road. You never imagined what your life would be like when you decided to start your family. None of it’s been fair, and you wish you could go back and have things be different. You can’t change the past, but do you know that how you tell your infertility story matters?
We all have hard things that happen to us. Pain and suffering are not to be avoided in life. You don’t get to choose what you struggle with, but you do get to decide how you navigate the experience.
Donald Davis tells about the value of storytelling. You’ll be missing out if you don’t take the 17 minutes it requires to hear his message. Please – do it now!
How might you reframe your own infertility story?
How do you think you might benefit from telling it in another way?
Here are a few simple but powerful reasons to consider changing how you tell your story.
Go from victim to empowered
By shifting your story in subtle ways, you can move from feeling like a victim to feeling empowered and robust to be surviving such an immense challenge in your life.
You’re stronger than you know, and you can be proud of how much you’ve been through. You haven’t given up yet, which is more than a little amazing.
Focusing on strengths makes you stronger
When you focus more of your mental energy on identifying with your strengths, you essentially rewire your brain to see yourself as strong. What you think and focus on becomes firmly planted into your life.
Life has dealt you a raw deal. Some of what you’re going through can be downright traumatic. But you keep going on, making it through each phase with as much courage and determination as you can summon.
Verbally identify and praise yourself for your resilience, and your resilience will grow.
Talk about your actions in terms of your strength, and you’ll become stronger.
Recognize and appreciate your continuing endurance, and you’ll one day find yourself thriving.
Grow your bond with your future baby
And think of the story you would tell your little one. You might tell your child just how much she is loved and wanted, that every part of your journey was worth it to bring her lovingly into this world.
You’ll be able to focus on that story with a gentle approach, rather than passing down your trauma to the next generation.
Make the best of what you can’t control
And if your journey leads to childlessness, you can still choose to tell your story in a way that reminds you of your courage and dedication. Try using your story as a way of self-reflection and learning from the arduous ordeal you’ve been through.
There is rarely any logic in the experience of infertility, but you can use your story to feel the power and strength and wisdom gained from this part of your life. You can reconcile everything you did with the ultimate outcome.
There’s peace that comes with mentally tying up the loose ends of your life.
Remember that you’re still writing your own story
How many blog posts or books have you read that tell someone’s infertility story, including the wisdom they gained through the process?
No matter your outcome, remember that you’re now in the process of writing your own story. Remember that there’s still much to be written and most life stories take the pattern of a curvy spiral, rather than a straight line.
Allow yourself to appreciate where you are on your path. Tomorrow is a new day, and a few tomorrows from now you might be surprised where that path leads.
How do you tell your own infertility story? How might you gently reframe it? Let me know in the comments below.