The best part of my job is watching women put themselves back into the equation, realizing they‘re a vital part of the process of having a baby. Sounds obvious, right? In reality, this shift can be challenging to make.
In fact, the most common theme I see with women at all stages of the fertility journey is putting themselves on the back burner.
Women struggling to get pregnant become all-consumed in the process and the pressure to make things happen. There are feelings of frustration, anger, and even guilt. Self-compassion and self-care aren’t on the to-do list at all.
I love seeing my clients shift from focusing solely on the baby to concentrating more on themselves. They discover that putting their own needs first will actually help them get pregnant and help them be a better mom.
I particularly enjoy working with women who are dealing with infertility because it’s a perfect time to make mindset shifts before a baby comes along. By doing the hard work at this stage, they reap significant benefits down the road when they do become mothers.
They create a better state of balance in their lives and gain new awareness and tools that come in handy down the road.
Pregnant women find themselves stepping into a whole new world where it’s all about the baby. That doesn’t sound so bad or unnatural right?
Unfortunately, there are loads of potential problems with putting yourself at the bottom of the priority list.
- Being treated differently by friends, family, and strangers
- Losing your voice in the doctor’s office, possibly being denied medical treatment during pregnancy
- Questioning your instincts or losing trust in your decision-making
- Losing your rights, such as having medical procedures performed without informed consent
I love working with women throughout their pregnancies. These fantastic ladies learn to tap into their inner strength and trust themselves as the greatest advocate for their babies and themselves.
New mothers are faced with a physical, emotional, and social reality that totally blindsides them. Once you’re in the thick of caring for a newborn and trying to live up to your pre-determined ideas of what and how a mom is supposed to be, you’re liable to lose your sense of self.
Some women have encouraging and hands-on support systems in place, whereas others may drown in a sea of chaos and loneliness. Sleep deprivation and hormonal changes make things much worse.
Once you make it to this point, it can be hard to regain your life and sense of self. You’ve already been conditioned through each stage of the fertility journey to focus all your energy and resources on the baby. Now that she’s here, you don’t have time to think about your own needs.
Nevertheless, it’s in everyone’s best interest for you to find your way back to your true self, as an individual. This shift will even make you a better and more available mother.
Why do I love to see this particular shift?
Because I’ve struggled with it too.
I’ve experienced monumental challenges that stem from the central issue of not keeping myself in the forefront of my life. It wasn’t noticeable when I had my first child, but things came tumbling down after having my second. It took time to become aware of the problem, and new skills to shift back to alignment.
I still occasionally relapse into the world of “me last.” It’s a process, but once you discover the patterns and know what to do, it becomes much easier to navigate back to center.
In what ways could you start putting yourself a little higher on your priority list? Let me know in the comments below.