It’s embryo transfer day. You’ve been anticipating this day for so long, hopeful that IVF will be the missing link between you and your baby. But suddenly you’re feeling something else.
Perhaps you’re worried that maybe this won’t work. You’re feeling nervous or guarded against getting your hopes up, for fear of having them dashed.
You’re not sure if you can take another massive disappointment, so maybe you can guard your heart a little by being “realistic.” At least that’s what your mind is telling you.
Let’s face it, it’s easy to be excited about distant plans, but it’s terrifying to be here in this moment, facing eminent success or failure.
But here’s the deal, you’re not doing yourself any favors by anticipating the worst-case scenario, and you might even be doing yourself a disservice.
IVF is a seriously all-in ordeal
- You’re putting up money – a LOT of it
- Hormonal shifts (aka mood swings and more)
- Hope…and this is where things get dicey
When it comes to IVF resources, hope is the thing I see least utilized. I get it. It feels scary to get your hopes up.
But if you’re going to go through all the effort (and time, money, etc.), you might as well bring your A game.
Getting your hopes up
Chances are you’ve already been let down many times. In fact, I don’t know anyone doing IVF who hasn’t been let down, disappointed and lost her sense of hope multiple times.
The pain you’ve already experienced is undeniable. It’s natural to start feeling less confident and more worried about never having a baby, or having a hard time believing that this time will be successful.
Here’s the thing. The body is exceptionally responsive to your thoughts, feelings and stress hormones. When you let hope fall away and let fear win, you’re failing to give your body a more significant advantage for conceiving.
When you have hope, love, and even excitement about the idea of success, then your brain produces endorphins, feel-good hormones that put the body into a more calm and balanced state. In this state, your body functions more optimally on every level.
Helping your fertility
The reproductive system is more sensitive to hormonal fluctuations than other systems in your body. Why? The reproductive system is non-vital to your immediate needs. It’s basically like an extra, an upgrade feature of your body.
When you’re feeling your best – healthy, balanced, and without fear – your reproductive system has the luxury of operating at its best.
If you’re feeling scared, stressed, angry or disenchanted, your body puts more energy into adrenaline production which makes you sweat, tense-up, and breathe more rapidly. Your body thinks you need to get out of an unsafe situation as fast as possible and is doing its best to prepare.
But you don’t need to get out of this situation. Your job is to embrace this IVF cycle and give it the best you’ve got as if it’s your best opportunity to get pregnant – and likely it is!
Now is your moment, allow yourself to build your hope as high as the sky! Feel it, love it, and speak it over and over. Let yourself feel the hope and give your body the chance to manifest this reality that you want more than anything.
So what happens if you’re disappointed again?
The same thing that happened last time – you’re disappointed. No matter how you slice it, this level of disappointment feels devastating. There’s no benefit to preparing for it.
When you dwell on the worst case scenario, you are not sparing yourself from a bigger disappointment. What you’re doing is spreading out the sadness and pain for a longer duration, making the TWW (two-week wait) even more unbearable.
Right now the best thing you can do is to believe that THIS time will be YOUR time!
Need help with your mindset?
I’ve got you covered.
*Check out this post on affirmations